I'm back

Not that I announced I was leaving or anything, but I am back now. I spent a few days in hot and sunny Las Vegas, Nevada. Nope, I didn’t gamble at all, wagered not even a Quarter, but I had a great time.

Some six years ago, I met some crazy ladies online—you know who you are—and I finally had the chance to meet two of them in person. They are just as lively, just as crazy, in person as they are on AIM.

Ladies, it was a pleasure meeting you and the family members you had in tow. I had a great time.

I’m ready to get back into the swing of things. Matter of fact, I got stuck at the Phoenix airport for an additional four hours of waiting (plane was kaput) and I spent that time writing (sorry, not on GHOST CRAB, though).

Since I’ve returned I started a Kiss of Death C.O.F.F.I.N. workshop: Sleuthfacts: P.I. Procedures with Linnea Sinclair (Bantam/Random House). I worked my way through the 114 messages waiting for me when I returned, and I am all caught up now. It’s great fun and ultra informative.

I won’t suddenly turn Mason into a private investigator, no worries. But since he occasionally has to skulk down dark alleys—which, according to Linnea, real life P.I.s seldom do—it can’t hurt to get some pointers or two …

Great to be back.

Thank You

This is what my Acknowledgment looks like at the moment:

Thank You

Thanks, first and foremost, to all those other wonderful authors who didn’t write the book I was in the mood to read. I had to sit down and pen it myself.

Many thanks to Ella, Laurie, Nigel, Reshenna, and Tru for your support, encouragement and input. Thanks for pestering me about new chapters and not letting me get away with lazy writing or poor excuses. You guys rock.

I think I can get away with that.

But yesterday, as I was forcing the bits and pieces I’d written for chapter two into a coherent sort of scene—writing longhand; there’s something soothing about rolling ink on paper—I had to realize I should probably amend my Thank You to include something like this:

A very appreciative Thank You also to McDonald’s and Burger King for having enclosed, air-conditioned playgrounds at some of their locations, providing my kids with hours of fun and me with the opportunity to write mostly uninterrupted (“Mom. Mom? Mom!”).

Business needs

I’ve been reading JA Konrath’s blog (okay, I’ve really been avoiding the new chapter two of the not-yet-renamed GHOST CRAB) and I’m taking notes.

There’s nothing but great advice about the business of writing. Not the art and craft of writing so much, but a lot about the business laying ahead of me (I hope).

One thing that dawned on me today: I better get a business account with Kinko’s or OfficeMax soon. Because I’ll need:

• business cards
• bookmarks
• postcards
• flyers/posters
• “signed by author” or “autographed copy” and “local author” stickers (optional, as these can be liberated from the bookstores carrying my book; with my luck, though, they won’t find their stickers on the day I’m there; so I’m bringing my own)
• a car magnet for self promotion (the book better have a good, ie. clean, cover; there is no way in hell I will be allowed to drive around town with a HUGE erection plastered to the driver side door)
  

I feel like I am missing something. But that should do it for starters. Now all I need to know is whether anyone will publish my book soon (Ken's deadline in July 14), what title it will be published under and if my entire first name will make it.

Seventh Window’s Ken likes initials.

Laura Baumbach told me in an e-mail over the weekend that her books sell just fine with her first name on them.

Where My Heart Will Take Me

Where My Heart Will Take Me
sung by Russell Watson

It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not
gonna hold me down.

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not
gonna change my mind.

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.

I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or
break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.
I've known the wind so cold, I've seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine ...

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or
break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.
Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or
break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

***

Do you know where you've heard this before?

Title search

I need a new title for GHOST CRAB.

Naturally, since events unfold days before Christmas, I thought of Christmas related titles. Something along the lines of ON THE 8TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME EIGHT CROOKS A-STEALING.

A bit long, though. :-)

How about THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST? I could still use all my Ghost Crab references...

Way cool

Last Wednesday I scraped my foot on some sharp rocks while snorkeling. I’d come too close and hadn’t worn my fins (or any other protective gear). I had two thoughts immediately: “shit, I’m bleeding and there are sharks in these waters” and “shit, those spiny sea urchins got me.”

Neither sea creature got me, I am happy to report. (I was also snorkeling in a very protected lagoon that’s not frequented by sharks.)

Today, we went to Waimea Bay Beach park, which is very different from the lagoon we usually go to. It’s wide open ocean as far as the eye can see, complete with strong currents that revel in pushing you into the beach sand (I don’t think I have to exfoliate my legs and arms for the foreseeable future).

Yes, this is the famous North Shore of Hawaii. Swimming is great here in the summer months (May to September is the official season, I believe). The ocean is at its calmest and waves rarely crest over a foot or so.

My brother-in-law, daughter and I went snorkeling. Well, the kid stayed on her boggie board, which has a clear window in it so she can see what’s going on in the water. We didn’t see a lot of fish, but I saw a green sea turtle. It was swimming away from me, so I only got a very quick glance, but I saw it again lifting its head out of the water. Definitely green!

Neat.

(I was more cautious around the rocks this time. No spiny sea urchins in sight, but definitely shark territory. Someone was attacked and bitten just last week.)

And from the beach, we saw two dolphins off a bit in the distance. They didn’t leap out of the water (like they are famed to do), but they stuck around and came up for air a few times, checking out the action on the beach.

Way cool.

Bravo!

I got an e-mail from Ken at Seventh Window. He received the manuscript, but hasn’t had time to look it over. He promised to get back to me by mid-July (after having gotten the new MJ Pearson ready for publication in September).

To understand how thoughtful and professional that e-mail was, you need to know that the waiting times most publishers list on their submission guidelines range anywhere from four to eight months. That’s four to eight months without a word or acknowledgement. And there’s no guarantee that you’d even get a rejection then, you just keep waiting and waiting and waiting….

Thank you, Ken, for letting me know that I’d have to wait a little while longer.

Now let’s see how much GHOST CRAB I can write until then.

It’s that time of year …

It’s Christmas in THE GHOST CRAB and Soren has no idea what to get Mason.

Any suggestions?

Keep in mind, Soren is mostly broke.

Coincidence?

Got the new Kenyon hardcover yesterday. Also got the final season of Queer as Folk on DVD. My little man got a haircut. Now he looks more like a little boy, less like a little girl. And because my life isn’t interesting enough, I had the school bus crash into my car.

Okay, it didn’t really crash. That’s a strong verb.

My nice car was legally parked by the side of the road. The school bus was turning into the school’s parking lot and as it turned left its hind end swung out and clipped my driver side mirror, ripping it out of its plastic anchor. Adios mirror.

We weren’t in the car. My little man and I were just walking back towards it when I heard the loud crunch and saw the bus turn. Sigh.

I insisted we call the police to file a formal report (not what the bus driver wanted to do) and a nice officer arrived a few minutes later. I have never been in an accident before and never really had occasion to interact with a police officer. No, wait, that’s not true. Way back when I was a newlywed and my husband was serving in Kuwait, I was being stalked. I had some interactions with the military police then.

Anyway. My contact with the police yesterday immediately had me thinking of THE GHOST CRAB. In an upcoming chapter Soren’s Jeep gets vandalized. It’s an important chapter. The bad guys stash drugs in the Jeep, then trash it and call the cops.

I had to realize that the police officer called to the scene would have no reason to search the car for drugs unless he was tipped off that there might be illegal substances hidden.

Thanks to a school bus destroying my mirror, I can now write this upcoming scene with a confident degree of authenticity. Ain’t life great?

Driving forces

I read something very interesting in Writing Fiction: The practical guide from NY’s acclaimed creative writing school. Every (good) piece of fiction answers an underlying question, is in fact driven by this question. Will the hero find redemption? Will the rebels win their freedom? You get the idea.

Every good short story, every novella and novel has an underlying question that can be answered with yes, no or maybe. The trick is to ask the right question and not to get distracted. ‘Will the hero find redemption?’ cannot be answered with him finding love or happiness; that wasn’t the question. The answer has to match the question.

So I started to think about the question(s) underlying THE GHOST CRAB, which btw I’m going to have to rename. The chapter I read (by David Harris Ebenbach) suggested asking ONE question, the question centering around the protagonist.

That made sense. I won’t argue. But I have a team of protagonists. What can I say? I have a knack for complicating things :-)

The truth, though, is that I am not creating a 50-50 partnership. Depending on the story, I’m envisioning a 55-45 or 60-40 split. Soren took the lead in THE PROTECTOR. Mason will take the lead in THE GHOST CRAB. His question then is the driving force behind the story.

And since there is an antagonist, I figured there should be three questions:

1. Will Mason save his reputation and relationship with Soren from destruction?

2. Will Soren find equal footing in a relationship that’s unbalanced power-wise?

3. Will Love Savior survive?

My problem now is to answer these questions.

You might think the answers are obvious, but keep in mind I am writing a series. There is no need or reason to finish character development/growth by the end of this particular story. Indeed, I should leave room for future developments.

The only question I can answer with certainty at this stage of prelim plotting is question 1: a definite yes.

Two and 3 are a maybe flirting with a no.

Naughty

There’s something very decadent about reading erotica at the dentist, the playground and McDonald’s. I ran out of Sherrilyn Kenyon novels (new one coming out in hardcover Tuesday, May 30), so I’ve started carrying an Emma Holly erotic romance around with me.

I’ve had MENAGE for a while now. I even started reading it twice before now. Both times, though, I couldn’t get past the first person point-of-view and the fact that the protagonist is a woman. What’s different this time? I ran out of reading material. So I picked up MENAGE again and started reading and I am quite enjoying myself (thanks to the two very yummy, very male co-protagonists).

I might even quite possibly check into another Emma Holly erotic novel in the future.

On Tuesday, I’m going to get me the latest Kenyon and the Queer as Folk Final Season DVDs. You can guess what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day on Tuesday…

Writer Beware’s 20 Worst Agencies List

This is taken directly from the Writer Beware site:

Below is a list of the 20 literary agencies about which Writer Beware has received the greatest number of advisories/complaints over the past several years.

None of these agencies has a significant track record of sales to commercial (advance-paying) publishers, and most have virtually no documented and verified sales at all (book placements claimed by some of these agencies turn out to be "sales" to vanity publishers). All charge clients before a sale is made--whether directly, by levying fees such as reading or administrative fees, or indirectly, for editing or other adjunct services.

Writer Beware recommends that writers avoid questionable literary agencies, and instead query agencies that have verifiable track records of sales to commercial publishing houses.

Note that while the 20 agencies listed here account for the bulk of the complaints we receive, they're just the tip of the iceberg. Writer Beware has files on nearly 400 questionable agencies, and we learn about a new one every few weeks.

1. The Abacus Group Literary Agency
2. Allred and Allred Literary Agents (refers clients to "book doctor" Victor West of Pacific Literary Services)
3. Barbara Bauer Literary Agency
4. Benedict Associates (also d/b/a B.A. Literary Agency)
5. Sherwood Broome, Inc.
6. Capital Literary Agency (formerly American Literary Agents of Washington, Inc.)
7. Desert Rose Literary Agency
8. Arthur Fleming Associates
9. Finesse Literary Agency (Karen Carr)
10. Brock Gannon Literary Agency
11. Harris Literary Agency
12. The Literary Agency Group, which includes the following:-Children's Literary Agency-Christian Literary Agency-New York Literary Agency-Poets Literary Agency-The Screenplay Agency-Stylus Literary Agency (formerly ST Literary Agency, formerly Sydra-Techniques)-Writers Literary & Publishing Services Company (the editing arm of the above-mentioned agencies)
13. Martin-McLean Literary Associates
14. Mocknick Productions Literary Agency, Inc.
15. B.K. Nelson, Inc.
16. The Robins Agency (Cris Robins)
17. Michele Rooney Literary Agency (also d/b/a Creative Literary Agency, Simply Nonfiction, and Michele Glance Rooney Literary Agency)
18. Southeast Literary Agency
19. Mark Sullivan Associates
20. West Coast Literary Associates (also d/b/a California Literary Services)

Writer Beware and Preditors & Editors

If you are a writer in search of a literary agency, literary representation or a publisher, you must visit Writer Beware and Preditors & Editors.

Before you begin crafting that killer query, you need to read the information on Writer Beware and Preditors & Editors.

Take good care of your dream; don’t let it fall prey to scam artists or lazy agents.


Writer Beware: http://www.sfwa.org/beware/
Preditors & Editors: http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/

Movie Weekend

I took my eldest to see Over the Hedge yesterday. We laughed and giggled and had a good time. Very cute movie. Excellent family movie.

Then today, by a stroke of luck, I found myself without the kids. My first thought was something along the lines of “okay, what the heck am I going to do with all this free time.” Luckily, my brain immediately had an idea and I ran off to watch The Da Vinci Code. Yes, I meant “ran off,” because I only had ten minutes to make it to the theater. I made it in time, thanks to green traffic lights all the day.

Now I have not read Dan Brown’s book, so I cannot say anything about the quality of the adaptation. I enjoyed the movie. It was not fast paced, and I have heard that as a criticism. Since it’s not an action movie, though, I don’t mind the slower pace.

It was nice to see Jean Reno and Jurgen Prochnow (a fellow German) on the big screen again.

Next weekend: X-Men! (I’m still incredibly disappointed that there won’t be a Remy LeBeau in the movie. I’m a big Gambit fan. Sigh)


PS. Yes, tomorrow, Monday, I am going to start writng again.

Yay or nay?

THE PROTECTOR has arrived at its destination.

I need more Zantac. And, drat, I forgot to by banana chips. Ugh, I don’t even have nails to chew on.

:-)

I’m bored…

I have nothing to do

This feels weird.

I have nothing to write. But it’s not just that. It’s that I don’t have anything to work on in my mind. I’m not busy thinking ahead a few chapters. I’m not busy plotting and scheming. I’m just not busy.

And that’s weird.

What’s almost disconcerting is the lack of need to write. I am so totally not compelled to write anything (except this blog entry). If I were an inexperienced writer, I’d be terrified that I just finished the one and only book that’s in me. Luckily, I know better.

My writing mind is taking a well-deserved break. I am taking a well-deserved break. I’ll be back in front of the computer come next Monday, ready to start working on THE GHOST CRAB again (which has been on my mind lately).

So this week I am not going to plot and scheme and work out chapter sequences. I’m going to do all those mundane things I usually neglect: housework. Already, yesterday I did a ton of laundry and even folded it right away. There’s plenty more to do around the house. I’ll even cook some dinners.

There’s nothing like housewifely chores to get my writing mind working again …

PS. I checked the USPS site. Predictably, the package hasn’t been delivered yet :-)

The waiting begins

I went to OfficeMax and had THE PROTECTOR printed out and for some odd reason it was about twenty pages shorter on their computer than it is on mine.

The font is the same. The formatting remained. Even page set up didn’t changed, and yet somehow it was twenty pages shorter.

I mailed it off.

Now I sit there with the delivery confirmation number and the aching need to check the USPS website to see if it my package has been delivered yet. Of course, it hasn’t, but that probably won’t keep me from checking several times a day until it has been delivered (which should be right around the end of the week).

It feels weird to not have to do anything right now.

After dropping of my eldest at school, I floundered around the house with nothing to do. I settled in my reading chair and started reading yet another Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Embrace, until my youngest came in the room.

“Mommy, you need to be on the computer,” he said.

I tried to tell him that I didn’t need to be on the computer, because I was finished. He wouldn’t hear of it. Smart little guy.

I might be finished, but I’m really not.

There is THE GHOST CRAB to finish. Remember THE GHOST CRAB? It’s the follow-up novel that I started in the beginning of the year. Time to work on it again, I guess.

If THE PROTECTOR meets with approval, I am sure there will be editing and revisions to be made.

So “I’m finished” isn’t really more than a very temporary state of affairs. It’s a great one-hour long feeling of immense pride, relief and utter terror.

Come to think of it, I should start taking my Zantac again. I’ll have a nervous stomach until the word is in on THE PROTECTOR. Too bad I don’t have any nails to chew on …

Done!

62,052.

I was done on Saturday night. I burned it on a disk and carried it to OfficeMax to have it printed out, but halfway there, I changed my mind.

After watching the Survivor finale tonight (yay, Aras), I sat down to check the formatting on the manuscript again—still there is this one orphan- or widow-like sentence that refuses to move off its page. But everything else still looked good.

Tomorrow morning I will carry everything over to OfficeMax, have it printed and then mail it. Whoohoo.

62,052 words in all.

Wish me luck.

Just 12 more chapters

Current word count: 61,615.

The afternoon started well. I added well over one hundred words to the chapters I was working on, then came one that actually ended with a lower word count. Oops.

I’m hoping to make up ground in the chapters to come.

Sane again (the beach was fun). Stress level: I ran out of dried banana chips!

It's getting there

I only got three chapters done this morning. But they added up to 382 words. Whoohoo.

Insane (cause I’m taking the kids to the beach for two hours). Stress level: I’m self-medicating with dried banana chips; turns out I snack when I’m stressed.

Nearing the end ... eventually

Current word count: 60,950.

Thirty-one chapters done. Twenty-one chapters to go.

I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that I won’t keep my self-imposed deadline (end of the week). And that’s okay. This is after all about quality, not speed.

Thus, still not adding adverbs. I come across a few now and then, but I am quite proud to report that THE PROTECTOR isn’t riddled with them. There was a time when I took great pains to find the perfect adverb. Now I just hunt down an even better verb.

Passage I really enjoyed today:

… he met Timoteo’s dark eyes with an unflinching look of his own. The sentiment was clear. Fuck off. Too late he remembered to go for meek and submissive. Shit.

That is so Soren. I love it.

Still sane. Stress level: elevated, but stable.

When did I say I would mail this? On the 13th?!

Seven more chapters done. Only 287 words added.

Twenty-nine chapters to go. 3467 words still unaccounted for. I better add 120 words per chapter from here on out.

Still sane. Stress level: what stress? I’m exhausted.

PS. I think it’s a good sign that I actually can’t add more than a dozen words to some chapters. This is supposed to be the final draft after all, and it looks like I have a pretty finished product on my hands. If there was plenty of room for extra descriptions and added conversations, I could hardly call this a final draft.

PPS. I’m not adding adverbs.

Writing: 0 / Clean Couch: 1

One afternoon. Four chapters. 246 words. And one Kirby vacuum cleaner demonstration that took twice as long as promised and did serious damage to my writing time budget. My couch is clean, though, which is exactly what I wanted.

I give the cat and kids twenty-four hours to return the couch to its natural state (furry and full of crumbs).

Thirty-six chapters to go. 3754 words unaccounted for.

Still sane. Stress level: elevated.

Three days till self-imposed mailing deadline

Four chapters done. Only 134 words added. But chapter 12 received a severe revision. Why didn’t anyone tell me that it was completely all over the place, confusing and without rhyme and reason?!

Forty chapters to go. 3900 words unaccounted for.

Still sane. Stress level: normal to very slightly elevated.

YES!

Found this from Seventh Window in my inbox this morning:

Thanks for sending me the first three chapters of your novel The Protector. What I've read thus far is interesting and well written. Please send me the rest of the manuscript.

YES.

I guess I won’t be blogging for a few days. I’m 4000 words short of my goal. And I want to have the manuscript in the mail by Saturday.

Saw M:I:III last night. Awesome movie. Possibly the best of the three.

Sunday blues

It’s Sunday. Whoohoo. Not that that actually means anything to me. I’m a mom. There’s no such thing as the weekend when you’re a mom. Yesterday, I took the kids to the zoo. That was fun. We like to go to the zoo. They have a great playground!

Today, we’re being lazy. But I need to finish my latest Sherrilyn Kenyon, Seize The Night. I need to pick up Operation Word Count Increase, but I’m having trouble with motivation and discipline. It’s almost as if I didn’t want to jinx THE PROTECTOR’s last chance by working on it while Seventh Window considers the query. That’s an excuse, of course. And a stupid one at that.

Well, since there is nothing on TV that could possibly tempt me to watch, I guess chances are good I am going to work on that word count tonight.

There is so much I want to get done. I also need to work on a short story for Forbidden Fruit magazine. I e-mailed Fiona with the suggestion to have an urban fantasy edition, and she talked it over with her other editors and they liked the idea. Now I need a short story I can submit. Tolya, the were-leopard, and Randolph, the were-wolf, here I am come.

Eventually I should probably watch the shows and episodes I have saved on the DVR. I came across an interesting show on the Military Channel: The Best Ranger, an annual ranger competition at Ft Benning, GA. Made me think of Mason immediately. I’m still mulling over whether to give him an honorable or dishonorable discharge from the Army.

Words of wisdom for the coming week:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

The Great Gatsby

I worked through lesson 1 in my fiction writing class, which meant reading the first three chapters of The Great Gatsby.

The Great Gatsby is a classic, of course. A beloved classic, according to the back cover of the book. It’s also in first person and you know what that means. Under normal circumstances, I would have left the book on the library shelf. But since I had to read it for class, I took it home with me and worked my way through the first four chapters.

I’m no fan of it thus far.

I was supposed to pay attention to the characters populating the first three chapters, but I found myself distracted by Fitzgerald’s masterful description of inanimate objects:

“The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run.”

Or

“Two shining, arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face….”

Or

“… suddenly her warm breath poured over me the story of her first meeting with Tom.”

He gave the lawn and the eyes and the breath a life of their own. I like how he did that. I’ll keep an eye out for opportunities to do the same in my own writing.

That said, I still don’t care for the novel. The “tender curiosity” I entertain wouldn’t be enough under normal circumstances to make me read a book I don’t particularly enjoy when there is so much else I do enjoy and so little time to enjoy it in.

Signed up for Gotham Writer's Workshop

A friend sent me an e-mail today with 10 websites every military spouse should know. Since I’m a good military spouse and always curious, I went to check out these links and came across the Barnes & Noble University.

I clicked on the free enrichment classes and found a novel writing class with Gotham Writer’s Workshop.

I’ve been ogling their workshops for a long time. Right now they’re offering a class on how to get published, taught by lit agent Dan Lazar (who rejected THE PROTECTOR). Sweet. I’ve also had my eye on the advanced novel writing class, which is too expensive for me, especially since the novel 101 class is a pre-requisite.

Since my funds are very limited, I wasn’t going to save my pennies to sign up for novel 101. I’m past the basics. I’ve got two finished novels under my belt and two decades of writing experience; I think it’s fair to say I have figured out the basic idea.

But novel 101 is offered free of charge through B&N University.

I signed up.

Class begins on Monday.

If nothing else, it’s a good networking opportunity. And I get that pre-requisite out of the way.

Oh, and when I went to check on classes in progress already, I saw a mystery writing class with Writers Digest that’s just finishing up. It appears all classes are four weeks long and new classes are offered every month. Isn’t that neat? I sure hope they will repeat the mystery class some time in the future, because I’d like to take that, too.

And the Feng Shui one. Definitely the Getting Organized one and Simplify Your Life. Geography and Grammar sound good, too. And why not Wines?

LOL.

I’m guessing I’ll be taking a new class each month.

Thank you, Jennifer, for forwarding that e-mail with the links.

…and even when your hope is gone, move along, move along…*

I fixed the problem with the guestbook on my website. Thanks to tech support and their easy to follow instruction. I really like my website. I wish I had THE PROTECTOR sold already, so I could do more advertising for it, but … just got a rejection from Insomniac Press today.

I think I have reached the end of my query journey.

I have not heard anything from the vast majority of agents I queried in January and mid-March. I understand the no-reply routine, but it SUCKS. I have not heard yet from Cleis Press, but since their line-up is lesbian-oriented, I’m not holding out much hope. Why did I query them? Well, they didn’t say not to query with gay material, so I figured I’d give it a shot.

I sent out one last query today. It went to Seventh Window Publications, publisher of THE PRICE OF TEMPTATION, which isn’t just a sweet gay Regency romance I enjoyed tremendously, but a 2005 Lambda Award finalist.

According to their website, Seventh Window is looking for romantic and sexy novels with compelling characters and plot. I am within their desired word count (60-80K), but I hope suspense isn’t turning them off. I’ve got the romance and sex, I’ve just got flying bullets and people out to do bad things, too.

There won’t be much of a paycheck.

My money goal was always to receive enough to pay off my school loan, but I think that’s not happening. Well, not in one swoop as I’d hoped.

On the bright side, since I am submitting to Seventh Window without the aid of an agent, I won’t have to share my advance with anyone other than my creditors.

IF Seventh Window is interested in Mason and Soren and their adventures...

K. Back to work. Current chapter 8 word count: 1432.


*song by THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS: "Move Along"

Operation Word Count Increase

Chapter 8.

Beginning word count: 1372.

Current word count: 1370.

Oops.

FF7: AC, the movie

Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, the movie. Saw it last night. Loved it. It was cool to see Cloud and the gang again. Made me remember why I liked Cid and Vincent so much to begin with. Reno and Rude made me laugh.


Still NOT working on THE PROTECTOR.

Life is interesting, isn’t it?

Yesterday:

Slept in.
Got a form rejection from Kensington.
Took the kids to the zoo and ran into Willie Nelson (almost literally).
Some bird pooped in Nolan’s shoe.
Was overcome with the urge to write a short story, turned on computer... computer didn’t work …
Ended up reading more hot, sexy Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Pleasures.

Today’s plans:
Picking up new fish tank (including fish).
Keeping eagle eye on fighting fish. He messes with our goldfish and he gets his own bowl.
Writing that short story.
Not working on THE PROTECTOR.
Reading more hot, sexy Sherrilyn Kenyon, Dance With The Devil.

Whew

Let’s see. I was busy. I:

• Added 128 words to chapter six. After looking it over for two days and not finding my way in, I had an idea on day three and, voila, 128 words found a new home.

• Read a second book by Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Play. I enjoyed it enough to keep reading until 1 a.m., despite a 6 a.m. wake-up call the next day. So that should tell you something. I need to send her an e-mail thanking her for making her heroine a plus-sized woman and her hero someone who’s looking for a woman with curves, not one with hunger pangs.
  
  This book really made me feel good about myself. I’m not a size 18 like Bride McTierney, but I’m not an average 12 either. I’m above average. LOL.

• Went to the dentist after a two-year break. No cavities. Whoohoo.

• Solved my first two sudoku puzzles. Got addicted. Excellent brain stimulant (see first bullet).

I’m interested in men; what’s weird about that?

Determined to find something to read, I dragged the kids to the local Borders yesterday. They immediately found what they liked, while I searched for urban fantasy.

The problem was that the romance section was not divided into categories. Historicals mingled with suspense mingled with the paranormal mingled with humor mingled with fantasy.

Unless you know what author you’re looking for … good luck finding what you want.

I went straight to Angela Knight, but the only book on the shelf was the book I bought already. But Sherrilyn Kenyon caught my eye. Plenty of books to select from. I chose a Dank-Hunter novel, Unleash The Night.

I spent all night devouring it. I loved it.

BTW, I did what I always do when browsing for books. I read the backcover description and if the man’s story sounds interesting, I open the book to a random page and read a bit. (I put several first person POVs back on the shelf, before I found Kenyon’s book.) I never read the first page. Something in the middle has to catch my eye.

What is important to note here is that the man’s story sells the book to me. I have always been way more interested in the hero than the heroine, which is why I don’t read a lot of romance. It’s how I found my way into gay fiction – reading it and writing it.

Some people think it’s weird that I am interested in gay fiction. To me, it was a natural progression. I am a heterosexual woman interested in men. So I read about men and write about men. What’s weird about that?

I think I am bored with heroines, because I am a woman myself. I want new experiences not rehash what I’ve already done/felt. Yeah, okay, I’ve never been on the run from evil guys out to hurt me, but I found a great guy to love, gave him babies and explored the world with him. I don’t need a book to experience life as a woman in love.

• If you know a book that centers on the man’s point of view, please, by all means, recommend it to me. (Nora Roberts hit paydirt with her Quinn Brothers. Now there are four books dealing with romance from the men’s perspective.)

Is there any gay urban fantasy out there?

In an effort to not to any work on THE PROTECTOR, I headed over to amazon.com to check out urban fantasy (they list it under contemporary fantasy).

I read one by Angela Knight a little while ago and I really enjoyed it. That was before I knew what urban fantasy was and that there were plenty of books like Angela’s to peruse and chose from.

Urban fantasy takes places in the modern world, in cities and towns and populated places where regular people live side-by-side with werewolves or vampires or changelings. It’s modern romance or suspense or mystery coupled with a fantasy element.

Okay, so I headed on over to amazon and started browsing. Clicked past the first-person POVs and found a few books that sounded like a good read. But I simply couldn’t get all that excited about these books. A lot of them seemed to have a strong erotic element, but I am just not that interested in the heroine and her wereleopard guy having sex. Sorry.

I have to be in the right mood to read het sex. Being as immersed in THE PROTECTOR as I am right now, I am so NOT in the mood to read anything het. I want the hot vampire boy to hook up with his hot wereleopard neighbor, not the girl down the street.

Sigh.

Is there any gay urban fantasy out there?

Busy day

Worked on chapters three, four and five today. Chapter five fought me for every single word, tooth and nail. But I added a total of 342 lovely words.

I also mailed my query package to Kensington. Erotica is hot right now. Maybe homoerotic suspense can benefit from that. Wish me luck.

Ready, set, send

Whew. Chapter three was tough. But in the end, I increased my word count by 112 words, which actually surprised me a little. It’s going very well, so I am going to print the first three chapters and send them off to their fate with an editor at Kensington.

I am glad I have a query ready and a synopsis waiting in the wings. I don’t think that I found them harder to write than the book itself, but they are certainly in a league of their own.

So much emphasis is placed on a good query that every word is scrutinized and triple checked. But the problem I have is probably the problem many authors face: the query is supposed to reflect the voice and style of the book, while giving a very short description of the book.

Oh, and you’re not supposed to use descriptive adjectives. So my line “THE PROTECTOR is a fun and quirky homoerotic novel of suspense” is actually very presumptive.

But I just couldn’t get the humor and lighthearted fun that’s a major part of the book into the tiny, two paragraph description. So I mention “fun” and “quirky,” because I don’t want to give the impression that THE PROTECTOR is a traditionally serious suspense novel.

I am more Janet Evanovich than James Patterson.

• If you'd like to read the newly improved chapters one, two and three, head on over to my website (link to the right) and check them out.

I'm happy

1577 seems to be the final word count for chapter two. That’s a 198-word increase. Whoohoo. That’s almost twice my self-imposed goal per chapter. I am very happy about this, because I know it won’t be as easy with subsequent chapters.

The easy chapters, the ones I had fun writing, will probably be easier to fatten. When a chapter doesn’t flow as well as I would like or I don’t feel as comfortable with the chapter’s subject matter [see my entry on action scenes] I work on it until my fingers bleed. Most of the time that means those chapters are the most polished and scrutinized. Adding 100 words won’t be easy.

Sometimes I wonder if the creation process is easier for writers who just write and worry about the editing later. I edit as I write. I might put down a paragraph or two so as not to lose the flow of the words or so that I can get to that one sentence that has been flitting around inside my skull. But generally I work with the sentences as they are born. They need to flow one into the next, to fit together like puzzle pieces.

And you can’t really solve a puzzle by fitting pieces together that just look like they might fit. Either they fit or they don’t.

141 more

Word Count Status: Chapter Two: Before: 1379; Now: 1520. And I am not finished with it yet. Some chapters are easier to fatten up than others. Since I’ve been over chapter one so many times … I guess there really wasn’t anything else I had to say. Still, it did increase. And it’s been revamped.

If you’d like to read the new again and improved again chapter one, head on over to my website and find it on the Writings page under THE PROTECTOR.

Word count has been on my mind. It was since I started writing THE PROTECTOR. It just happened that a lot of the earlier chapters had a similar word count and once I noticed that I tried to keep the subsequent chapters in the same area, word count-wise. It was a conscious effort. As were the general shortness of the chapters and the no-scene breaks rule. And of course those decisions weren’t willy nilly either.

I wish I could remember the magazine or website that had the article on new reading habits of modern readers. We all know that attention spans have decreased and life has become hectic. Many people read on their train or bus commute to work. Shorter chapters lend themselves perfectly to quick reading. And since it’s a fact that people had to break in the middle of a chapter … they move through a book with shorter chapters quicker.

“Oh, just one more. They’re so short. I can do one more.”

Now I just have to find the agent/editor/publisher who’s also read that article…

Kensington here I come

I had a great talk with my friend LaConnie yesterday. We’re at similar stages in our writing career, which is to say we’re both unpublished at the moment. But LaConnie has worked with a professional editor and has her work under review by the publisher of her choice. Best of luck to you, friend.

So she called me with the express purpose of passing on some of her writing wisdom. I’m all about feedback, let me tell you. So I didn’t mind the least bit. What she said made total sense. It was one of those “duh” moments. After she opened my eyes, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t spotted myself what she pointed out to me.

I took her advice and tore chapter one of THE PROTECTOR apart to reassemble it with more punch, paying careful attention to POV switches (no first person POV for me).

I am also working on that word count.

Current standing: 58,998 increased to 59,046. Whoohoo, 65,000 here I come.

I think I’ll also take LaConnie’s advice about agents. I really only wanted an agent so I can submit to my publisher of choice, Kensington, and John Scognamiglio, the editor (agented material ONLY!).

Following LaConnie’s lead, I’ll just might send in my stuff without an agent. If they send it back unopened, I’ll just keep searching for an agent. If they open it and read it, they'll either like it or dislike it. I don’t think they’d like it or dislike it any better if an agent sent it in.

We’ll see.

The little things

I started fixing the little things:

• I got all my em and en dashes straight (pun fully intended). There were 206 of them, and they are now correctly formatted.
• I started looking for the “to” that should have been a “too.” There were 1354 occurrences of “to.”
• I looked for the “of” that should have been an “off.” There were 1050 of those.
• I have not yet checked to find the “if” that should have been a “whether.” Only 138 to investigate.
• I replaced “pajama” with “pajamas.” (I had no idea that’s a plural. I learned something new.)
• I changed “tore his eyes off” to “tore his attention off.” (Can’t have odd mental pictures distracting the reader.)
• Oh, and I added a “that” to make things clearer in a sentence early in chapter one. There are now 58,998 words to this novel. If I could manage to add just 100 words to every chapter, I’d have … … 64,198 words, which is a good starting length for a genre mystery. The problem here is that I scrutinize every single word. You know the whole “don’t use adverb, chose better verbs instead” deal. I’m all about better verbs, active language, no fluff i.e. adjectives. So adding just 100 words is a major deal. I’m way better at cutting (a habit from my editor days) than adding; I’m a ruthless wielder of the delete key.

I'm now going to mop my floors. There's nothing like some housewifely chores in the middle of the night to make you forget about the 1354 occurrences of “to” you had to check.

The little things

I started fixing the little things:

• I got all my em and en dashes straight (pun fully intended). There were 206 of them, and they are now correctly formatted.
• I started looking for the “to” that should have been a “too.” There were 1354 occurrences of “to.”
• I looked for the “of” that should have been an “off.” There were 1050 of those.
• I have not yet checked to find the “if” that should have been a “whether.” Only 138 to investigate.
• I replaced “pajama” with “pajamas.” (I had no idea that’s a plural. I learned something new.)
• I changed “tore his eyes off” to “tore his attention off.” (Can’t have odd mental pictures distracting the reader.)
• Oh, and I added a “that” to make things clearer in a sentence early in chapter one. There are now 58,998 words to this novel. If I could manage to add just 100 words to every chapter, I’d have … … 64,198 words, which is a good starting length for a genre mystery. The problem here is that I scrutinize every single word. You know the whole “don’t use adverbs, choose better verbs instead” deal. I’m all about better verbs, active language, no fluff i.e. adjectives. So adding just 100 words is a major deal. I’m way better at cutting (a habit from my editor days) than adding; I’m a ruthless wielder of the delete key.

I'm now going to mop my floors. There's nothing like some housewifely chores in the middle of the night to make you forget about the 1354 occurrences of “to” you had to check.

What's your Hawaiian Name?

http://www.blogthings.com/hawaiiannamegenerator/

***Your Hawaiian Name is:***

Leilani Nana

Oh, that's not bad. As you might or might not know, I live on O'ahu, Hawai'i. But no one has called me Leilani Nana yet. Mostly, I am just Auntie or Nadja or "hey, Kaelan's mom."

How Weird Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howweirdareyouquiz/

***You Are 50% Weird***

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

:-)

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

http://www.blogthings.com/whattypeofwritershouldyoubequiz/

***You Should Be a Film Writer***

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

Thanks, Sheri, for sending along this quiz. I couldn't help but do a few more ...

THE PROTECTOR: the official, professional verdict

I got my critique – earlier than expected. I saw it sitting in my inbox and had sweaty palms instantly. I stared at it for a minute – it’s what I do when query replies come in, too. There is always that knee-jerk reaction of panic. What if they liked it? What if they didn’t?

You might think that receiving a negative response would be the bigger deal – as in more devastating. I’ve received my share of negative responses, and I find that they are not that difficult to deal with. I file them, and that’s that.

But what if they liked it? Now that’s a scary thought. Sure, it’s what I want. But my over-analytical brain immediately thinks ahead: I wrote this book on my own time, will I manage to work through the necessary revisions and meet the publisher-imposed deadline that’s inevitable? Can I write a second book, a third and fourth or will it become obvious that all I had in me was one book? Hell, will the reading public like what I wrote enough to even warrant a second book? Can I handle the sophomore pressure?

You see:

Creative writing is a harrowing business, a terrifying commitment to an absolute. This is it, the writer must say to himself, and I must stand or fall upon what I have put down. The degree of self-exposure is crucifying. And doubt is a constant companion. What if I am not as good as I thought, is a question that always nags, and can cripple. [Walter Kerr]

True. Very, very true. It was easy sending THE PROTECTOR off. Nothing to it. Clicking on the resulting reply in my in-box, opening the critique and reading it, that was hard.

If we had to say what writing is, we would have to define it essentially as an act of courage. [Cynthia Ozick]

But that’s not what you really want to know, is it? You are as interested in the official verdict as I was.

Here it is:

First and foremost, you were right - this novel is fun. The characters are larger than life (fitter than life, prettier than life, more bumbling than life, depending upon whether good or bad) and the asides are gems. Your timing is spot on and the location lovely and exotic. The details are visual and not at all tedious. (Tediousness in details is a common trap and you deftly avoided it.) Official critique: I’d say it’s a good book.

The tension between Mason and Soren is just right, and Mrs. George is a delight; the telling of the entire tale is lighthearted without crossing to cartoonishness. I do like it all very much.

Bravo on a wonderfully readable novel with series potential (mention that last in your cover letters), and thank you for the chance to see your words again.

My pleasure.

Sometimes courage pays off.

As does scrutinizing every word and slaving over single sentences for hours:

All that is good about this novel’s structure – arc, tense, grammar, carefully streamlined sentences – make what needs fixing nearly insignificant. “Nearly,” because the little things count, of course.

(I was going to cut and paste the section of the critique that goes into the things that need fixing: dangling participles, some redundancies and the occasional conjuring of odd inadvertent mental pictures. But the whole list with page numbers for reference would make little sense here.)

There was even proof that detail-oriented, fastidious Nadja can completely miss something:

The radio announcer (re the storm) is lovely and perky and pretty by turns and in the middle of all that is “the weatherman.”

Oops. And how many times have I read the darn thing?!

What I liked best, though, was this part – an echo of what I’ve heard already (and posted in an earlier entry):

…as you can see, all of this and the rest a line edit would pick up are easy to spot, easy to fix. You are most capable of this yourself. You write with humor and a feel for the language, so I don’t recommend you go with a friend (a picky friend) or an editing service such as ours* unless you are pressed for time, have seen the manuscript so often you’d rather read the dictionary than it one more time, or you just wish that second set of eyes and the suggestions that come in the details…

:-)

* scribendi.com

Thank you, iTunes Music Store.

When the computer crashed, it took my iTunes library with it. Ugh. I e-mailed the help center asking if there was a way to recover the songs I had purchased. Some time later I received an e-mail from Caitlin at the iTunes Music Store. She put all the songs I’d purchased and lost back into my library.

Now that’s what I call a satisfactory resolution. Thank you.

PS: I spent the last hour putting my library back together. Now my Shuffle is up-to-date again. Eclectic mix of music: rock, pop, classical, a lot of country (Keith Urban, sweet), a bit of Latin and German, some alternative and even one inspirational song (couldn’t find the second one I wanted).

Monkey Mind

I put some thought into this next entry and decided to do something a little different. It seems to me that people often share what they like about themselves and what they are good at. Since I just shared that my writing must not be half bad, it’s time to share a few flaws or problem areas:

You tend to become so detached from your immediate environment that you live in a disorderly, chaotic sort of hodgepodge, though this probably bothers those around you more than it bothers you.*

Daydreaming, lack of concentration, and inattention to your surroundings can be problems for you. Your mind tends to wander unless you are using it in an imaginative, creative way.*

Yeah. I have trouble being present. I have a monkey mind, to borrow a term from the yogi of the world. Very restless, always swinging from thought to thought. It’s not clear from the snippet of my astrological profile if this disorderly, chaotic hodgepodge is an actual physical manifestation or inside my head. I think it’s the latter.

My actual life is nothing I’d classify as a hodgepodge. I’m not overly messy (I’m lazy, though, and straightening up isn’t my favorite chore). I’m punctual. I really don’t care for clutter. I remember appointments and the like. I dress appropriately, and I am highly functional. Maybe I like my physical world neat, because the world inside my head is a definite chaos.

I tried to tell my husband once why I often appeared detached and inattentive. I don’t think I explained myself very well. It’s just that my brain is so busy. Not only do I live my own life, but there are the lives of all the characters I created. And their worlds. That’s a lot of lives to keep straight (no pun intended). Add my kids and husband, the cat and the car maintenance schedule … yep, brain is busy.

So even before we had kids I figured my brain deserved a break now and again. I tried meditation. That didn’t work very well. My monkey mind had no idea how not to think. The concept of not thinking was so alien and foreign, it was immediately rejected.

Tai Chi and yoga were great, though. I had to concentrate so much on the physical demands that my brain had no choice but to shut down all thought processes to get my limbs to tangle and untangle in the correct ways. But the second I am to close my eyes and relax my mind and body, to think of a peaceful place and find inner quiet … my brain perks up and monkey mind is determined to make up for the lost sixty minutes of thought.

I have since come to terms with that contradiction: in order to relax, I have to do something strenuously physical – there has to be a certain degree of difficulty and demand or it won’t work, which perfectly mirrors this problem of mine:

You absolutely cannot tolerate being passive or even patient about getting what you want. You feel that it is up to you to take the initiative and you go after your goal or desire very aggressively.*


*Ry Redd's Cayce Past Life Report for Nadja, born March 5, 18:35, Saarbruecken, Germany

Someone call the Computer Geeks!

My computer died. It wasn’t a sudden death. Luckily, there were symptoms and I was smart enough to see them for what they were (signs of impending doom). I backed-up the vast majority of my files. Whew.

Now I am working on my husband’s computer, but he uses a different keyboard. No, wait, *I* am the one with the different keyboard, he uses the standard, run-of-the-mill, wireless keyboard. It will take some getting used to. :-/

The good thing: without all my favorite places and links readily available I have nothing to distract me from my writing. :-)

Now what?

Not only did I receive my update from the agent, but I got the rare personalized rejection writers crave (I still really, really dislike the word rejection; isn’t there a better one somewhere?).

I’ve received my share of standard form rejections. I’ve even received a bad photocopy of a rejection letter once. But this was my first personalized reply. I immediately wrote a short, polite Thank You.

Now I am left with a gentle critique pointing out two weak spots, and several options:

1. I could ignore the agent’s opinion and soldier on, querying and working on the second book in the series. After all this is a subjective business and who is she to point out flaws in my writing?
2. Armed with her critique, I could take a good hard look at my writing, tear it apart and reassemble it in new and, hopefully, improved form.
3. I could hire a professional editor to work with me on THE PROTECTOR.
4. I could wait to see if I receive other personalized replies pointing out similar flaws and then work on those problem areas.
5. I could throw in the towel and take up woodworking (which incidentally I enjoy a lot).

5. is obviously out of the question. I haven’t come this far, written this much, just to give up now. No, no. But I do enjoy woodworking.

1. never even entered my mind until I sat down to write this blog entry.

Since patience is no virtue of mine, sitting around and waiting for another reply (4.) isn’t what I want to do either. Who knows how long it will be until I receive another personalized reply?

I would love to be able to afford 3.

2. was clearly a gut reaction.

This might have been the opinion of one single, solitary agent, but it has credence. So I’m going to take a good look at my writing, paying careful attention to the weaknesses and strengths she pointed out. I am not, however, going to tear apart what I’ve written. Instead, I sent away for a book critique with a professional editor. This isn’t an edit – which I can’t afford – but rather something I’d call a pre-edit. The editor is going to take a look at the entire manuscript to determine exactly what kind of edit I need. In the end, I should receive a master list of strengths and weaknesses.

Armed with the agent’s comments and that editorial master list, I can then work on THE PROTECTOR and address specific issues.

I have had the first chapter edited twice before (took advantage of a free edit offer to see exactly where my writing stands). I was pleasantly surprised.

The first editor had this to say:

“You write well, to the point right from the start and with good feel for flow and texture. You introduce each character well, and employ a nicely spare style that is instantly readable. You may want to consider merely a proofread.” [scribendi.com]

The second editor had a similar opinion:

“This is quite an interesting set up. I can already imagine what is to come. Clever dialog and it flows naturally. The setting is interesting too, as is the potential list of characters. Good start. You appear to have a good command of grammar and punctuation. In my estimation you just need a good proofreader.” [twobrotherspress.net]

What a nice boost to my writing confidence. Since English isn’t my native language, I am very proud of the fact that punctuation and grammar pass muster. I can’t wait to receive that editorial master list; not because I think it will heap more praise on me – wouldn’t that be awesome – but because it will be a great tool to work with. It will highlight flaws I might suspect already and point out other weaknesses that completely escape my attention.

The reply I received from my choice agent might have been a rejection, but in the end she did me a great favor and my writing will be better for it.

All this means, though, that my focus will be on THE PROTECTOR again. Instead of moving on and possibly committing the same sins again, I will take a step back and work on the first book in the series again. In all honesty, I don’t expect the revision to take very long. It took me six weeks to do a line-by-line edit, often floundering a bit, because I was unsure of what to look for exactly. With the book critique as road map, I should be able to focus my attention and effort exactly where it’s needed.

Thank you, Ella, for thinking I am brave to take feedback this well. I don’t think it’s bravery as much as ambition and a very healthy hunger to learn more, to improve and to better my skills.

Ouch

Mason side-stepped the thrust. Neither intimidated nor in a forgiving mood, he grabbed the kid’s wrist and twisted, locking the arm. The knife clattered to the pavement. Mason’s left arm came down. The kid’s elbow snapped. Disgusted, Mason flung the howling kid aside.

Yeah, I’m guessing I won’t have too much trouble showcasing Mason’s darker side this time around.

... and ACTION!

I am procrastinating. Chapter six is an action chapter. Writing action is not my favorite thing to do. You wouldn’t know it by the feedback I receive, but that might have to do with my anal side: I prepare thoroughly; in fact, I try to compensate for the lack of enthusiasm with technical proficiency.

When the time came during THE PROTECTOR to turn up the heat and deliver a few roundhouse kicks, I rented a bunch of action movies and stocked up on action novels. I tried to watch action-rich shows on TV. I also read a few gun magazines and at least one aimed at police officers, which was very helpful. It got to the point where I felt comfortable penning action. I simply closed my eyes, watched the movie in my head and then began the task of putting into words what I saw in my head.

Soren action is easiest. He’s the untrained fighter who discovered he’s best with a blunt object in his hands. There’s nothing like bashing someone over the head. There didn’t have to be much skill on his part and thus not that much knowledge on my part.

Mason is the disciplined, trained fighter. He required extensive research. The guy’s an ex-Army Ranger, for heaven’s sake. But he didn’t have much opportunity to show his stuff in THE PROTECTOR. He’ll get a few more chances in THE GHOST CRAB.

You guessed it; chapter six is a Mason chapter.

"Dear agent, you haven't crushed my hope yet..."

I just asked the agent who requested a partial in December for an update. It’s been three months, so I know I am not rushing anything and it’s a legit request, but why do I feel like I just slammed a door shut with my big toe still across the threshold?

It’s difficult to remain optimistic when faced with the very real possibility that by the time I check my e-mail again there might be a very nice “No, Thank You” letter in my inbox.

It is, of course, way better to receive a definitive “No, Thank You” than to wait. Yes, sure, waiting keeps hope alive, but the energy used to fuel that hope is energy I don’t have to pour into my current writing project.

It’s just as possible that my partial got lost among all the other partials, that my e-mail will spark a quick search and a hasty read, immediately followed by a “Yes, Send More” e-mail in my inbox.

But, dang, my toe hurts ….

I’ll miss the beach

Today I took my kids to the beach, which is always nice.

Last year, the kids and I traveled to Germany to visit my family. Somtime during the second day my daughter asked if we could go to the beach on one of the following days. I remembered that today. It’s funny what we take for granted. Of course, for the vast majority of her young life she’s lived on an island or another, never more than a few travel minutes from a beach.

We might move on next year. We’re an Army family after all.

I’ll miss the beach.

By the way, where my parents live in Germany, there’s no beach for hundreds of miles.

GHOST CRAB status: worked on dialogue for two later chapters. Been mulling over the opening for chapter six.

The 2006 Book Sense Book of the Year

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

Hmm. Okay. But I won't put it back on my amazon.com wishlist. Nope.

Agent blogs

I read Miss Snark’s agent blog [“in which Miss Snark vents her wrath on the hapless world of writers and crushes them to sand beneath her T.Rexual heels of stiletto snark”] for the pure entertainment of it and to glean a few insider tips. Her latest entry dealt with the question of commenting on agent blogs.

I like agent blogs. They are a great opportunity to gauge personalities and to get a feel for the person you might like to work with for years to come. And then, of course, there are the tips and helpful hints.

I recently re-discovered the blog of the agent who requested a partial from me. It was in its beginning stages when I first queried her. Of course, now, after I queried, she talks about query pet peeves and the like. I was mortified. At least, I didn’t do anything she dislikes, but I sure left out stuff she is keen on reading. Sigh. If she hadn’t already requested the partial, I would have buried my head in the sand, to never query near her zip code again.

I do, however, take the opportunity to comment on her blog. And I use my real name. If a polite comment turns her off, if something I say or ask makes her round file my partial in disgust, then, honestly, I don’t think we would have had a good working relationship.

And in the spirit of complete and utter honesty: yes, I hope she recognizes my name and remembers that there is a partial of mine in her reading stack. (What are the chances of two hundred other authors having a complicated name like mine and writing homoerotic fiction?)

:-)

TGIF?

I just had my hair done, and I look fabulous. I’ll hurry on over to the photographer’s studio after this to get passport pictures taken. Not only will I look fabulous on that most important of documents, my green card, which I need to renew, but when it’s time – years from now – to shoot publicity photos, I will whip out this tiny passport photo to show my hairdresser and say, “make me look fabulous like this.”

But that’s so not what I wanted to rant about. It’s Friday, and I don’t like Fridays much. For the same reason the majority of regular people like Fridays, they ring in the weekend. It’s around 1pm now, which makes it around 6pm on the East coast. I think it’s safe to say agent offices are closing down now for the weekend, and I won’t be receiving any e-mails. And that just means another week has passed without replies to my queries.

There is still hope, though. Not all the agents I contacted are located in NYC. In fact, the one I am most anxious to hear from isn’t anywhere near the East Coast. And what time is it in Canada? Just kidding …

But I can’t write about this without mentioning that I have indeed received e-mails from agents and one publisher on weekends. The very first agent who requested a partial contacted me on a Sunday. I was duly impressed. The one e-mail from a publisher, Lida Quillen, Twilight Times Books, also arrived on a Sunday. Again, I was duly impressed. She wasn’t interested in THE PROTECTOR, but she let me down gently with a request to see more material when it became available. She might have said No, but she put a smile on my face on that particular Sunday.

So no, I don’t enjoy Fridays, because they mark the end of yet another week. But, hey, as far as I am concerned, Saturday is the start of a new week :-)

Have a grand weekend, everyone.

Chapter Five

Chapter five is done. It sure took its time coming together, but I really enjoy the way it turned out. This is my favorite sentence:

The hope he’d built on the foundation of his father’s indifference toppled like a house of cards.

Word count and limitations

I haven’t written a great American epic. Not by a long shot. I know that 59,000 words is on the short side. It’s more long novella than short novel. Does this bother me? Yes. Could I add a few thousand words? Sure.

So why don’t I?

I have what you’d call a sparse style and it works well for me. No flowery prose, no descriptions to skip (okay, there is one in chapter four, but I had to describe the layout of the Sea Sprite somewhere). I have no trouble admitting that I don’t feel comfortable adding to the manuscript the way it is. I also have no illusions about there being opportunities to flesh out scenes and character movements. I’m afraid, though, that what I would add now would increase the word count not the quality of the manuscript. I’ve reached a plateau with THE PROTECTOR.

Should I admit to this? I don’t know. I’ve always been of the opinion that it’s beneficial to acknowledge one’s limitations. And I think with THE PROTECTOR I’ve reached a level I will not pass without professional help. I think of the learning experience working with a professional editor would be, and I’m almost more excited about working with someone than having the end result published. (What can I say? I’ve always enjoyed learning.)

Now the question becomes whether I have written well enough to make up for the missing words. Is there enough quality and potential in my 59,000 words to give an agent or publisher the idea that I will be able to add a few thousand more with some guidance?

I think so :-)

The agent search continues

Never one to be discouraged for long (it’s been less than 24 hours since I said I had no one to send my new query letter to), I did a few more online searches and found two agents with recorded “gay” sales.

All in all, I’ve sent out 28 queries since February 2005.

I’m still waiting to receive 14 replies from agents and publishers who’ve received queries and/or partials.

Query letters

I reworked my query letter.

I really liked my original letter. But after posting it to a writer’s forum, I received some mixed feedback and decided to change it. The feedback was okay, but not quite as constructive as I had expected. One reviewer criticized my name choices: Mason and Soren were too androgynous. One corrected my usage of Mariana Trench: it’s obviously Mariana’s Trench. (It’s NOT.) A few suggested rounding 59,000 words to 60,000 words. One generalized by grouping homoerotic suspense in with porn, which apparently wasn’t a serious genre and would make me a laughing stock.

After reading those responses I was discouraged. I’m not easily discouraged, but it was one of those days when I notice how I haven’t found anyone interested in THE PROTECTOR yet. It all became clear, of course, after reading the feedback: my letter sucked.

So I took the two good responses I received and reworked my letter. I added a bit more drama befitting a suspense novel and changed my second hook paragraph. Where before I listed the obstacles my protagonists face, I now concentrate only on two very specific threats. It’s tighter than before. I lost the tiny part I used to highlight THE PROTECTOR’s quirkiness, but I kept the word quirky, so the adjective will just have to speak for itself.

Now I have a great query letter. And no one to send it to…

Worst advice ever

Today I went to a free How To Get Published workshop at our library. I didn’t have high expectations after reading the flyer. I already know how to get a literary agent. I have a handle on marketing and publicity (in case you didn’t know, I have a Master’s in public relations), and I’m not interested in self-publishing. Still, I wanted to have the chance to network and maybe hear something I haven’t heard yet.

The turn-out was great. In fact, there were more people than chairs. The speaker/author was very nice and personable, but he didn’t have a shred of information I hadn’t come across yet. Worse, because sixty minutes is not a lot of time to discuss the publishing industry, he stuck to very general tips and made the query sound like an outline “you’d write for your college literary class.”

He also touched on one of my pet peeves for advice. How to find the agent for you? Simple! Find books that are like yours, check the acknowledgment section and write down the name of the agent. I truly, truly despise that piece of advice. Does anyone who advices to do that even read the acknowledgement sections? I once spent two days at Barnes & Nobel doing just that. I picked up every single book in the gay and lesbian section, jotted down all the names mentioned in the acknowledgements and found only two identified as agents. Editors were thanked much more often, John Scognamiglio among them. He works for Kensington, of course. And Kensington will only work with agents.

Not discouraged easily, I came back a second day and worked my way through the mystery, suspense and thriller section. I did a few shelves of romance novels, then eventually gave up. The number of agents identified and thanked in the acknowledgment section is virtually non-existent.

As far as advice goes: combing through acknowledgements is a waste of time. It is far easier to subscribe to Publishers Marketplace and read the sections on deals and new books, which often identify the agents behind the deals.

As many hours and days as I have spent looking for agents representing gay fiction, I still have not found the agents who represented my favorite writers published with Kensington. Every so often I check to see if those writers have websites yet, but none of them do. Bummer.

Oh, and in case you wondered about all those names I jotted down. Yes, I check each and every one against the agent databases available on the Internet and in reference guides such as the LMP. I found two more to add to the two who were readily identified as agents.

Alcohol Beverage Control license

I received a reply from the Guam Hotel and Restaurant Association:

Hafa Adai Nadja:

You will need to obtain an Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC) license in order to serve and sell liquor as a bartender. You will have to take a class to qualify for it. There is also a requirement to obtain a health certificate. Your employer will have to assist you in obtaining both of these government requirements.

Sincerely,
DAVID B. TYDINGCO
President

The dangers of re-using

I recycle and reuse. I recycle plastics and aluminum. I reuse paper.

I don’t print very much. For the longest time I didn’t even have the printer hooked up. It was only when I came across agents who required hardcopy queries that I got the printer out of its box.

Next to my desk I keep a box filled with papers that have one printed side. I reuse these by printing on the flip side. I never thought much of it. My kids use that paper, too. So a few days ago my daughter took a few pages and turned them into an art project. With the help of scissors and much glue, she transformed the pages into a very nice bird. She was so proud of her bird, she wanted to take it to school.

“Sure,” I said.

It wasn’t until we were standing in front of her Kindergarten class that I realized what was printed on the back of her bird. She’d taken a sex scene! I stood there staring down at my own writing, wondering how I was going to talk her out of taking the bird inside to show to her teacher.

Now it wasn’t as if the entire scene was printed across the back of her bird. She’d done a superb job of covering the naughty bits and leaving the fairly harmless stuff exposed. I didn’t see any words she could get expelled over. Whew. But I sure waited by the phone all day, expecting a call from her teacher.

No one called.

I was almost disappointed.

An unexpected complication

So I’m merrily working on the dialogue in chapter five, which is a conversation between Soren and his boss at Tradewinds – when I realize that Soren might be in need of a license to tend bar/serve alcohol. Oops.

Is this a big deal? Yes. No. If he doesn’t need a license, all is well. If he does need a license, then the question becomes how complicated the process is on Guam. Is this a matter of filling out paperwork and paying for a permit? Or is some sort of professional training/course work required before applying for the license?

I had Soren working at Tradewinds in the last chapter of THE PROTECTOR, six weeks after the major events. Clearly, I need to see if that’s feasible.

I contacted the Guam Hotel and Restaurant Association. Hopefully, they’ll be nice enough to answer my questions regarding the bartending (liquor) license circumstances on Guam.

Soren's character profile

I thought it might be fun to share Soren’s character chart. And some of the trivia contained in it:

Name: Soren Michael Buchanan
Reason or meaning of name: Swedish name: reddish-brown hair
Age: 22-23 (The Protector); 23 (The Ghost Crab) Birth date: October 23
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Birth Place: Hagatna, Guam
Height: 5’10 ½” (179cm)
Weight: 160-165lbs (73-75kg)
Eye Color: green as jade
Hair color: burnished copper (red)
Grooming: clean, but messy, tousled hair, longish, no regular cuts, does not shave regularly
Shampoo: peppermint 2-in-1
Type of body/build: rangy, lean, sleek, muscled and fit
Skin: creamy white complexion, a dusting of freckles over his nose, his cheekbones and forehead, eyelids, his shoulders and upper chest, hands, the inside of his arms and thighs, the backs of his knees, his feet and the sole of one foot (left)
Distinguishing Marks/Scars: scar: right ankle (skateboarding accident)
Facial features: Nordic features, narrow face, long nose, prominent cheekbones, strong jaw, mouth too wide, but very kissable
Physical Features: nipples, small and pale; cock lean and sleek
Work attire: jeans and uniform T-shirt (green, Tradewinds logo emblazoned)
After-hours clothing: shorts and T-shirts
Shoe: 10
Posture: usually relaxed, slouchy
Mannerism: moods change and body language with it
Gestures: likes to mimic Mason’s facial gestures
Religion: Catholic
Degree of religious practice: none
Current occupation: Bartender
Past jobs: part-time work in father’s accounting firm
Professional degrees/certificates: Cabinet and Furniture Making (traditional, two year, hands-on program) North Bennet Street School, Boston
High School: Father Duenas Memorial School, Mangilao (Guam’s only all-boys college prep school)

Character development

I started chapter five, which is coming along nicely. So nicely, in fact, I took time off last night to fine tune my website. I spent a good chunk of my evening working on a form mail set-up. In the end, though, it didn’t work. I discarded the idea of a form e-mail for the time being.

I went back to chapter five. It’s a Soren chapter and those are always fun. I have to be honest: Soren is more difficult to write for than Mason. I have an easier time relating to Mason. I share his anal side. While I am nowhere near as compulsive as he is, I am a planner and an organizer. I think things through. I weigh my option. I have back-up plans and alternate routes. I usually come prepared. Oh, and I am punctual.

Soren is none of these things. I have notes tacked up on the board next to my work station, reminding me what NOT to do with Soren. He’s not a driven, goal-oriented, self-determined person. He is far more laid back and happy-go-lucky. He’s very much a product of his upbringing, which is to say, he’s used to others being in charge of his life and making decisions for him.

This is his first time on his own. And, as you know, he’s not really on his own. He’s learning curve might not be as steep with Mason by his side, but he is learning and setting his own course.

That said, chapter five challenges the choices Soren has made thus far. How will he handle this test? His knee-jerk reaction is to back down – the challenge is issued by his father whom he hasn’t seen since THE PROTECTOR. But his gut tells him to steer his course. Once his decision is made, he’ll have to defend it in a follow-up chapter, face-to-face with the man who’d controlled most of his life.

For you, Sheri

I found an e-mail in my in-box today (thank you, Sheri, you know I’m always game) challenging me to one of those lists that circulate in cyberspace. I say challenge, because I have a very difficult time narrowing down my likes and dislikes. Luckily, I had four choices this time.

Four most recent jobs you have had in your life:
1. Mother of two and wife to one ;-)
2. Writer for a weekly Army newspaper
3. Reintegration teacher to soldiers returning from war in Iraq and Afghanistan
4. Reporter/Editor for a weekly magazine in Okinawa, Japan

Four places you have lived:
1. Hawaii, USA
2. Okinawa, Japan
3. New Jersey and Georgia, USA
4. Germany

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Spain (many summers with my parents)
2. Italy (summer camp once)
3. France (summer camp once)
4. Austria (once with my parents)

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Lost and Criminal Minds (they count as one since they are on at the same time on the same day and I watch them both)
2. Bones
3. House
4. 24

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Serenity (swooning when Simon gets shoot)
2. uh …
3. hmm …
4. eh … (I don’t have enough time to watch four movies over and over, fit in my favorite TV shows, the kids, husband AND my writing)

Four websites I visit daily:
1. http://pubrants.blogspot.com/ (for the inside track in the agent business)
2. http://groups.google.com.au/?lnk=lt (for fun, insightful discussions and great fiction)
3. http://www.zap2it.com/ (online TV guide so I know there’s nothing worth watching on TV)
4. my e-mail account, my website to marvel at the increasing visitor count, my blog for updates

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Meringue (I cannot remember the last time I actually ate some)
2. dark, semi-sweet, semi-bitter chocolate
3. Pasta
4. Nuts

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. on a massage table somewhere
2. in a phone conference with my agent and/or publisher discussing my literary genius [sigh, so not going to happen anytime soon; I don’t have an agent and/or publisher yet ;-]
3. in bed with a great book (someone just recommended MENAGE by Emma Holly)
4. at the Oscars, in an awesome gown size 10 (I was going to say size 2, but I am a realist; have you seen my favorite foods?!)

Feel free to share your favorite likes and dislikes in the comment section. Hello? Is anyone reading this?!

The Historian

I just removed The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova from my amazon.com wishlist.

After I first learned of the book, I was all excited to read it. I found it in the bookstore, opened it to the middle and realized it’s a first person account. I don’t care for the first person point of view, so I put the book back. I wasn’t going to spend all that money on something I might not like. I requested it from my local library instead. I finally, finally got a copy this week.

I immediately neglected my housewifely chores and kids – we ate take-out that night – and immersed myself in the book. It wasn’t much of an immersion. I got to chapter four. I have not read past chapter four. Well, that’s not entirely true. I thumbed through the book (tome) and read bits here and there. It’s what I do in the bookstore. I rarely ever look at the first page. I go for the guts of the story and see if anything catches my eye. If nothing jumps out at me, I read the first page.

So I read parts of different chapters here and there, but nothing grabbed my attention. I had a very difficult time reading past the punctuation. Large parts of the book are told to the narrator, accounts of past incidents are recited to her. That means large parts of the book are quoted. And that means there are a lot of these things:

“’Hugh said as much,’ I muttered.
“’What?’
“’I’ll explain later. Go on.’
“’Well, ….'

I seldom read with a reader’s eye; most of the time I read with a writer’s eye or an editor’s eye. I take note of word choices, sentence syntax, punctuation, things like that. And when I read, the reader in me was jarred by all the quotation marks.

This book was Elizabeth Kostova’s debut effort. She received a 2.2-million-dollar advance for it.

I just couldn’t get excite by it. The writing was flawless, but it didn’t sparkle for me; add the first person point of view … I will be returning it to the library later today, and I feel saddened by that. A book is meant to be read.

Why do I write? Part 2

I mentioned in part 1 that I was a voracious reader long before I actually started penning stories. All these years later I still am. It’s one of the driving forces behind my writing. I cannot remember a writing project that wasn’t started simply because I could not find the book I wanted to read.

It’s what drove me to write THE PROTECTOR and begin THE GHOST CRAB. I had read my share of gay mysteries and suspense novels, worked my way through mainstream gay fiction and even indulged in some more sexual texts. What I wanted to read was a book that combined the best elements all of these genres. I wanted an adventure that included sex not happening off stage. And it couldn’t be in first person.

So I wrote one.

Benjamin Disraeli apparently had the same dilemma. He is credited with saying, “When I want to read a good book, I write one.”

And that’s why I write.