Life of leisure

My new friends, blogger extraordinaire Kim and fantasy writer Renee, and I drove over to Kaneohe Marine Corps Base this morning. Our goal: to show Renee who is new to Oahu the sights and talk “shop.” It probably wasn’t the best day to appreciate the Koolau Mountain Range, because low hanging clouds shrouded everything in a haze, but the beaches on Kaneohe were still impressive. The surf was a bit rough – not good for swimming – but at least one beach-going creature seemed to have had a good time.

Hawaiian monk seals are critically endangered, but that doesn’t keep them from coming ashore for a sunbath. You don’t see them very often, so it’s a big deal when you spot one. If you do see one, please give it room. Harassing them can get you in big trouble with the locals (and the law). The same goes for green sea turtles by the way, though they can be found on the beaches with far greater frequency.

Naturally I got wet while snapping these pictures. (Beach safety says not to turn your back to the ocean for good reason.)

After our sightseeing adventure we had lunch at the K’Bay O’Club. Yummy. On the way home, Ivy slept blissfully in her carseat and Kim told us about meeting the cast of Hawaii 5-0 (they visited “her” elementary school, sigh, but not “mine.”)

No adventures are planned for next week, Thanksgiving and all, but we’ll do more exploring the week after. Stay tuned.

And in case, you wondered, no I got no writing done yet this week. My goal was to finish the break-in scene and have Mason explain to Soren how his military career ended. I may have to stay up a bit later this weekend to get it all done.

SinC & RWA Christmas luncheon

I had the pleasure of attending the Sisters in Crime & Romance Writers of America combined Christmas luncheon this last Saturday. It is always good to get together with others who enjoy books and writing as much as I do. Conversation around my table dealt almost exclusively with the many ways to promote self-published books and how to make them available to e-readers. On more than one occasion I had to admit that my wonderful publisher, Seventh Window Publications, and the unstoppable Ken Harrison take care of all those electronic issues for me. (THANK YOU, Ken.)

Jennifer Woods, author of LOTTERY, delighted us with a funny speech about the secrets of writing and success. Mostly it came down to “sit butt in chair and write.” She was funny and irreverent and I’m hoping she’ll have the chance to offer a writing workshop through RWA, because I’ll try my best to attend.

I’ve felt very isolated, creatively, in Kansas, so it was a wonderful chance to get out of the house and meet a bunch of book-loving writers and readers in person. And the best part, I learned there are writing military spouses right here on base … here’s me looking forward to meeting with them over a cup of coffee :-)

BOO me!!

I’m so bad about leaving the kitchen messy, the laundry unwashed and the house cluttered. Instead of writing when the baby sleeps, I find myself cleaning and straightening the house. BOO me!!

Someone please tell me, it’s ok to step over the mess on my way to the bestseller list :-)

Snoozing the day away

Ivy, taking a Sunday afternoon nap ...

Welcome home, baby.

Ivy Helene,

born August 03 at 2:09 pm,

7 pounds 2 ounces and 20 inches.

Welcome home, baby. We love you!

Happy birthday

Today is my 40th birthday. Oh boy, I think I’m a grown-up now :-) As if a 16-year marriage, two kids, a baby on the way, two paid-off cars, a mortgage, credit card debt, two cats and a hamster didn’t clue me in.

On being pregnant and not writing …

February was interesting. My super-surprising and somewhat shocking (yes, I admit it) pregnancy was confirmed, which immediately led to a ton of appointments to make sure the little fellow was okay and thriving. Being of mature age (pft) has it advantages, because most expecting mothers don’t get to see their unborn babies all that often. The last of the many ultrasounds even told us with small certainty what to expect come August (I can’t share; the husband asked to be surprise, so I have to make sure no one who might tell him knows anything).

We’re still looking for names. Ivy is in the running. As is Harlan. I love Logan, especially for a girl, but my kids hate it.

I also found out that my friends Rafi and Laurie are expecting. Congratulations, ladies.

I avoided a miscarriage, which my doctor warned was a real threat after having the IUD removed. I credit many hours on the couch with this small miracle. Mostly, I avoided moving as much as possible :-D I think I must have caught up with all the seasons of Dog Whisperer on NatGeo.

I got almost no writing done. I feel immensely guilty about this, but in all honesty, I had more important worries. Still, writing is foremost on my mind these days. I’m sick of the slow or non-existing progress, and I’m sick of feeling like I’m letting people down (Ken and Kristen to mind right away). Unfortunately, merely feeling bad about the situation doesn’t exactly do much to remedy the problem. I’m going to have to make a serious commitment, show up in front of the computer and just get the work done. The deadline is non-negotiable for this one :-)

The Olympics were inspiring. I loved seeing Shaun White on TV. He’s one of my favorite redheads ever. He’s also 23, which incidentally makes him the perfect living representation of my favorite fictional character. I may have pointed that out a few times while watching TV with my kids, because they groaned and complained about it eventually. “We know, Mom,” they’d say. Pft.

You see, my fictional characters are definitely on my mind. The tsunami alert did its thing, too. (Guam didn’t report casualties or damages, which was great.)

March will be good. Nolan turns 7, which according to him is the legal age to start chores. I’ll turn 40. Spring Break will liven things up, too, and if all goes well will find us on the road to Oklahoma to visit some friends. Road trip, yay. I already have to go to the bathroom and we haven’t even left yet :-)

Thinking happy thoughts doesn’t cut it …

Walter Koenig: “My son was depressed.”
Reporter: “About what?”

That question has irked me all week. Andrew Koenig suffered from clinical depression, which is an imbalance of brain chemicals. He didn’t have to have a reason to be depressed. There didn’t have to be something specific in his life that made him depressed. He simply was.

I have struggled with depression during some of the best, happiest and most successful parts of my life. I know I was in a good place, but I couldn’t help feeling depressed. It’s not something you have control over and it doesn’t have to make sense. It’s not something you can wish away or snap out of by looking at the beautiful things in your life or practicing a good attitude. It’s your brain being hijacked.

Why I find the Olympics inspiring …

I’m not a sport nut. I love English horseback riding and show jumping, I just haven’t done it in years. The Winter Olympics are most definitely not up my alley – nothing Winter-related is :-) But I find myself inspired.

I’m a struggling writer right now, in a deep, dark hole with nary a plot bunny for comfort. Keeping me frustrated is my perfectionist nature and the idea that everything I produce has to be flawless. Behind that idea lurks the notion that the only achievement worth pursuing is first place.

Then I watch the Olympics and see a large number of athletes who won’t even come within spitting distance of the metal podium. They’re there to post a personal best, to give it their all and shine, because they are good at what they do and they deserve the chance to show the world how good they are. Still, realistically speaking, they don’t stand a chance to win a medal.

It’s okay to know you’re not going to win. But winning isn’t everything; showing up, giving your best and having the time of your life is. And that’s why I’m inspired.

The dedication and perseverance, the sweat and tears and deep, deep credit card debts that a lot of these athletes bring with them should maybe inspire more of us to do well in the world even when there’s no prize to be won.

So, yeah, I’m inspired.

PS. Catching my favorite redhead, Shaun White, on TV is great, too.

Pregnant!

Here it is, the first baby update.

I wasn’t thinking baby. No one in the family was thinking baby. We’d discussed getting a puppy and decided to wait until the next duty station (summer 2011). That’s as close as we got to the idea of brining new life into the family.

In the beginning of the year I spent countless hours finding the perfect deal on tickets to Germany. I was even getting super excited about going home. I haven’t been back since 2005. Kaelan started warming up to the idea when she mentioned having an interest in Paris and I told her that we could certainly swing a visit. Paris is only about 3-4 hours away from where my parents now live.

Then Pat deployed to Iraq. The next day I bought myself a little desk that I wedged in the corner in the bedroom, because, you know, I have a book that needs to be finished and having my own little desk and private area seemed like a good idea.

All the while I was sick as a dog. Constant nausea. Ick. I couldn’t smell food without getting sick. I was getting really sick of being sick. This had been going on since November. I started to google things like “ulcers.” For the most part though I thought it was just anxiety and/or depression over Pat leaving.

Then, one night in a moment of clarity, it occurred to me that there was more going on than nausea. Oddly enough the symptom that tipped me off was my sleep medication not working quite right anymore. I thought it was weird that there were so many duds in one batch. Either that or I was suddenly metabolizing the stuff differently.

Last Thursday I broke down and bought a home pregnancy test. At that point I was secretly convinced that I was pregnant, but still very skeptical, because I have an IUD, an intrauterine device meant to keep me barren. I peed on the stick and it said positive almost immediately.

Holy cow.

I was SHOCKED. Totally surprised.

I called some friends – all of them super-supportive. I took a photo of the pregnancy test with the little stick and e-mailed it to Pat in Iraq, asking him to call me (he called me the next morning and he seemed far more excited than I was initially; good man). I told the kids who had mixed reactions. Nolan thought it was cool (and he’s really super excited about his mom having a baby.) He asked for a brother, so they could play LEGO Star Wars on the Wii and the little guy would be Darth Vader. I didn’t have to heart to tell him that his new sibling will be more likely to drool all over his LEGOs at first than actually play with them or the Wii.

Kaelan had more realistic concerns. Who would watch the baby while I was at work? She didn’t like the idea that I was going to stop working. Many years ago she was dead set against me returning to work, because it was my job to be her mom and be at home waiting for her. Now she’s not happy about me giving up my job at her elementary school, because she wouldn’t see me on and off during her school hours.

She warmed up to the thought of a sibling when I explained that she would no longer be the only person in our family with a birthday in the second half of the year. She’d now have company. The baby’s due date is August 22.

Well, it’s been two days now. I’ve since seen the little guy on the ultrasound monitor. Cute, very cute. I was very surprised about how big the little guy is already (about an inch and a half; I’m at 11-12 weeks). But the news isn’t all great. The IUD has to be removed. The removal carries a decent risk of miscarriage, but the risk increases the longer the IUD stays in. Some women deliver a healthy baby and the IUD at the same time, but removal is strongly suggested. I don’t know more than that yet.

So all in all, a total shock and super surprise. This baby certainly wasn’t planned or wanted, but we love it already.

Next episode: how to write a book before your due date, plan for baby and not pay a fortune on re-booking fees for your flights to Germany.

Also: “Ivy” or “Harlan”?

2010, let the excitement begin

It’s only January 2, 2010, but the new year isn’t treating me all that well yet. Damn nausea. Ugh. Still, there are quite a few things I’m excited about: I’m turning 40 in March and there will be a party/get-together. With friends. And alcohol (Hello Julie, Katie, Stacy, Sonya, and Barbara) and food.

I’m absolutely looking forward to reading the finished STALKER, because I know it will surprise me (so far it’s been a pain to work on, so it owes me; nope, I don’t know yet how it ends). The best possible scenario has me reading the finished product on the plane to Germany, so that would be in June.

There are other authors I’m looking forward to reading in 2010. My friend Laurie is working on an absolutely awesome werewolf script (can’t wait to read that). Jennifer Rardin, Patricia Briggs, Karen Chance and Suzanne Collins are on my pre-ordered list. I’m hoping there will be a new JR Ward Black Dagger Brotherhood book, too.

I’m excited about going to the movies, too. Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Prince of Persia (though, I hate the “romantic subplot” already). Iron Man 2. Harry Potter. Twilight. The Last Airbender. Oceans. Robin Hood (I don’t particularly like Russell Crowe, but I do love Robin Hood and Crowe does well in these kind of rough and dirty roles). Edge of Darkness. A-Team (Bradley Cooper anyone?)

My big excitement in the middle of the year will undoubtedly be the visit to Germany. I haven’t been to see my (non-traveling) relatives in five years. Also, I can’t wait to eat all the good food. Greek food. Italian food. My grandmother’s potato salad and fishsticks. Yum. I’m gaining ten pounds just thinking about all the culinary goodness.

But really, in all honestly, what I’m most excited about is for 2010 to be over. The end of 2010 means that my beloved will return from Iraq soon. It also means we’re six months closer to leaving Kansas. (Now don’t get me wrong, Kansas isn’t bad, but it’s not great either; I just want to leave).

Yep, 2010 will be an exciting year.

Nicholas Nightflame

Yes, I play Wizard101.com. It’s a wonderfully frustrating (“die already!”) and very addictive game. It started innocently enough: the kids wanted to play and I told them I had to check it out first. Many months later we now have a subscription and my character is on level 27.

A while ago I notice the name “Nicholas Nightflame” on a list of ten best minigame players. I have no idea who Nicholas Nightflame is or if he’s played by an adult or a child. I haven’t actually met Nicholas in the game and I’m certainly not looking for him, but his name sparked my curiosity.

Naturally, Nick now has a “story,” because that is what happens when a name catches my attention. It’s really more of a character sheet and has nothing to do with Wizard101, just something my overactive imagination came up with. My Nicholas Nightflame lives in a fantasy land far, far away. He’s not a first or second son, which means he’s not an heir to his family’s wealth and lands. He’s not tasked with finding a wife, having offspring and keeping holdings in the family. Without those responsibilities, he was free to study music as a child. He has a lovely voice and is somewhat of a piano prodigy. But life can’t be that easy, of course, (not when I make it up) and there’s a war going on. Hordes of demons and hell creatures are bend on taking over the world. All that stands between them and the innocent people of the lands are gifted mages.

Mages are like warrior monks. Think Knights Templar. They’re conscripted for life and take certain vows. They are assigned to certain geographic regions and live like nomads, traveling to wherever they’re needed, never in one place for very long, always looking for demons to fight and destroy. They start training in their teens, learning how to cast spells, shields, wards and charms. Each mage belongs to one of four elemental schools: fire, air, earth or water.

Nick is a fire mage. Fire is the most aggressive of the schools. The vast majority of their spells are offensive, as in destructive, and action oriented. This is, of course, the source of great conflict for Nick who likes to think of himself as more in touch with his intuitive and spiritual side. He would have been happy studying music for the rest of his life, instead, it turns out he’s a born demon killer and quite good at it.

Mages (and their female counterparts) are not allowed relationships with the opposite sex. The authorities fear they might create offspring that could inherit lands or wealth away from their families or their schools (incidentally the reason for the Catholic Church to institute celibacy way back when). Same-sex relationships and pair bonding aren’t exactly encouraged, but the school authorities know that interpersonal relationships and connections are good for morale and the fighting spirit.

Nick’s “nemesis” is a man named Lake. He’s an opportunistic mercenary who doesn’t give a hoot about Nick’s vow of obedience or his “celibacy.” In fact, Lake’s determined to take Nick off the straight and narrow. Lake isn’t a mage, but he has latent water talents, which, in his eyes, makes him the perfect partner/complement for Nick.

Nick hates the fact that Lake (think privateer) who lives on a ship owns a piano that he cannot play. Lake’s one and only reason to own such an expensive instrument is to lure Nick back into his presence. Scoundrel!

There you have it. Nicholas Nightflame. Inspired by Wizard101.com.

Interview and yet another chance to win an e-book

For those of you still desperate to win the e-book version of THE PROTECTOR, visit my friend Sarah on her blog Rain on the Roof here. She had some very good questions for me and I really like how our interview came out.

Have a look for yourself and enter to win the e-book.

What my depression feels like ...

I'm a beautiful, sleek driving machine, a supercar made for the road
(not the racetrack). I'm exquisite. I'm a McLaren F1. I'm meant to fly
down the German Autobahn (which, by the way, has speed limits and I
have the tickets to prove it). I'm automotive perfection.

I'm also out of gas.

I'm slowly bumping down the shoulder, my engine in neutral, my tank
empty. I'm running on fumes. Yeah sure, I'll make my destination
eventually and I do occasionally stop to take in the view and enjoy
the scenery, but mostly I'm pushing and shoving and trying to steer at
the same time.

That is what depression feels like to me. I should be cruising down
the highway, pedal to the metal. Instead I'm crawling down the
shoulder.

I'm not despairing. I don't think the world is ending and life sure is
worth living. I really wouldn't say I'm particularly unhappy, but I
have the attention span of a gnat and it's difficult to concentrate.
I'm also fidgety and restless. I can't sit still. Standing in line
somewhere is torture. I lost interest in most things I loved doing.
Heck, before doing anything these days (years, really), my first
thought is, "how much energy will that cost me and how long will it
take me to recover from that drain."

I'm TIRED. Above all, I'm mentally, physically and emotionally EXHAUSTED.

I used to think depression is something akin to a personal flaw. I
absoultely subscribed to the "you can snap out of it" school of
thought. But the more I read about it and talked to people, the more I
realized that it's not my doing (or not-doing, as it were). It's my
body being out of synch and imbalanced.

I'm a sports car with an empty tank, and I'm sick of towing and
pushing. I need a gas station :-)

Win THE PROTECTOR on Twitter

Kassa, who just posted a very, very nice review of THE PROTECTOR here, is giving away a copy of THE PROTECTOR on Twitter. For a chance to enter, RT on twitter the following message:

RT @kassa_11 to enter for a chance to win a free e-copy of @nlgassert great book "The Protector". Winner chosen Monday Night!

That's Monday, August 17, 2009. Good luck everyone.

And the latest winner is ...

... Angelia Sparrow ...

Congratulations, Angelia. You've become the lastest owner of an e-copy of THE PROTECTOR.

Many thanks also to Val over at Obsidian Bookshelf for offering her blog to host this give-away.

Second chance to win THE PROTECTOR e-book

Didn't win the first time around? No worries. You'll have a 2nd chance.

My friend Val Kovalin will host the second PROTECTOR e-book give-away at her blog Obsidian Bookshelf on Monday, August 10. Same rules: all you have to do is visit her blog, leave a witty comment and, voila, you're in the running.

Good luck.

And the winner is

... Lilli ...

Congratulations, Lilli. You're my first randomly drawn winner of the e-book version of THE PROTECTOR. Herzliche Glueckwuensche und viel Spass beim Lesen.

Many thanks also to Wave for offering her blog Reviews by jessewave to host the give-away.

... this is the temporary e-book cover, which we'll exchange with the much prettier original cover as soon as certain copyright issues are taken care of, I promise.

Win THE PROTECTOR e-book

I promised you the chance to win free e-books, didn't I?

This week, visit my friend Wave's wonderfully re-designed blog Reviews by jessewave on Thursday, August 6, leave a witty comment and, voila, you're entered in the random drawing for a free e-copy of THE PROTECTOR.

Good luck.

More than you ever needed to know, but fun ...

1. Do you like blue cheese? NO.

2. Have you ever smoked? YES. I was a stupid pre-teen. It didn’t last long.

3. Do you own a gun? It’s illegal for me to own a gun.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Ugh. If I had to drink it, I’d drink the red kind. What flavor is that?

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Hot dogs make great fishing bait. And they also go over well with kids.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Let me google … the name of the movie is … A Wonderful Life.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee.

9. Can you do push ups? Yes.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Hadn’t thought about that … hmm … my wedding ring is up there, as is the necklace I’ve worn since 1988.

11. Favorite hobby? Writing. Reading.

12. Do you have A. D. D? Absolutely.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yes.

14. Middle name? Not telling …

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: My sleeping pill is kicking in; I’m going to sound like I’m on drugs. My back hurts. When am I done with this?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink daily: water, coffee, juice

17. Current worry? Finishing a book. Finding a job.

18. Current hate right now? No hate going on here. Who has the energy for that?

19. Favorite place to be? On a shady beach.

20. How did you bring in the new year? Beats me. I can’t remember that far back. I fairly sure we did nothing.

21. Where would you like to go? Back to Hawaii or back to Japan.

23. Do you own slippers? YES, but keep in mind that most people where I come from call flip-flops slippers. :-)

24 What color shirt are you wearing? Teal and green and white tank top.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? NO.

26. Can you whistle? ...Yes.

27. Where are you now? Fort Rileye, KS, way, way past my bedtime.

28. Would you be a pirate? Nuh. I love the ocean and a good sea voyage, but unless the pirates look AND act like Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp …

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t sing in the shower.

30. Favorite Girl's Name? Kaelan

31. Favorite boy's name? Oi, that’s tough. Riley and Nic, Finn. Nolan. Aya. Cloud.

32. What is in your pocket right now? No pockets in my boxers.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? The water sprinkler on steroids. I swear the thing was getting ready for take-off.

34. What vehicle do you drive? A Ford. But never again, people. It’s all cheap plastic and it’s falling apart.

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Several serious hairline fractures in my right ankle. Horse-back riding accident.

36. Do you love where you live? NO.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2 to watch TV and 1 to play video games on. You should have asked how many computer workstations we have in the house :-)