I reworked my query letter.
I really liked my original letter. But after posting it to a writer’s forum, I received some mixed feedback and decided to change it. The feedback was okay, but not quite as constructive as I had expected. One reviewer criticized my name choices: Mason and Soren were too androgynous. One corrected my usage of Mariana Trench: it’s obviously Mariana’s Trench. (It’s NOT.) A few suggested rounding 59,000 words to 60,000 words. One generalized by grouping homoerotic suspense in with porn, which apparently wasn’t a serious genre and would make me a laughing stock.
After reading those responses I was discouraged. I’m not easily discouraged, but it was one of those days when I notice how I haven’t found anyone interested in THE PROTECTOR yet. It all became clear, of course, after reading the feedback: my letter sucked.
So I took the two good responses I received and reworked my letter. I added a bit more drama befitting a suspense novel and changed my second hook paragraph. Where before I listed the obstacles my protagonists face, I now concentrate only on two very specific threats. It’s tighter than before. I lost the tiny part I used to highlight THE PROTECTOR’s quirkiness, but I kept the word quirky, so the adjective will just have to speak for itself.
Now I have a great query letter. And no one to send it to…